eatingalot.com

No Fucking Way do we have to experience bad stuff to appreciate good stuff

It’s like with the Indianapolis Colts this year. They lose Peyton Manning and are now unable to win a single game. That doesn’t say anything new about what Manning was capable of doing on a football field. We already knew he made the Colts an elite team for so many years

Patriots lose Tom Brady for the year and the team still wins 11 games. We know he is a great quarterback. We also always knew when he was winning Super Bowls he also had great teammates, far better than the ones Manning has every had

Brady cuts his hair and while he is still such a handsome man, he just isn’t as dreamy. I was going to have like 10 million of his babies, but without the long hair I won’t

We all know an eight pound salad is a great meal. We also know 14 king size candy bars isn’t as good. Adults really don’t need to ever experience that sugar rush to know it isn’t as good as the fruit and veggies (kids should go for the sugar. Kids should finish a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in addition to all the Peanut Butter Cups)

We don’t need to listen to a month of Christmas music to appreciate good music. As soon as we heard it, we knew immediately that Christmas music is shit and Prince is awesome

For most of us, we would be best off if we choose to skip over all the bad stuff and instead only do good things

Alcoholics Anonymous has a series of questions people can use to identify if they are an alcoholic.  I answer no to all of them.  There are some spinoffs for other activities some us like more than drinking.  For sexaholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous and gamblers anonymous I answer yes to a total of 17 questions

Then there is this one: http://newsone.com/newsone-original/jothomas/quiz-are-you-a-food-addict/  A great reminder of why addictions are such good things.  We give life to our addictions because we know doing these things make us happier than finding ways to avoid them

Do you binge and then “get rid of the binge” through vomiting, exercise, laxatives, or other forms of purging?

The vomiting has happened on occasion, I actually wish I could do it more, but usually the times I try, the stuff just won’t come up.  Wheat bran is good stuff.  I might be better off with more exercise.  Clean-and-jerk 100kg; on a good day as much as 110; maybe some day it will be back over 120

Do you eat large quantities of food at one time (binge)?

It’s what makes me happiest.  Eat as much as possible, to the point of being uncomfortably full.  But it’s only uncomfortable for about 90 minutes.  Then there is a period of perhaps 10 to 20 hours of feeling ok because that normal hunger just isn’t there.  It’s like a new girlfriend.  It just feels right

http://www.sa.org/test.php
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spaw2/uploads/pdf/litfiles/us_english/IP/EN3107.pdf
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/20-questions

After 11.75 pounds of spaghetti, had a half-gallon ice cream sundae for dessert.  In between tried to get rid of the pasta, but it burned my throat coming up, so only let a little bit come up

Should have eaten the spaghetti and ice cream together.  Topping three pounds of ice cream with four pounds of spaghetti and pasta sauce makes as much sense as topping it with caramel, whip cream and chocolate syrup.  Both meals would be great, yet neither could improve on the best ice cream recipe, made with just two ingredients:

• Carton of Vanilla
• Spoon

A talk show I’ve watched a few times.  The host tells the audience that he is going to eat a full meal, then only eats half of a meal.  It follows that formula every single time.  Haven’t bothered watching it in a while, but I can understand why people do even when you know exactly what is going to happen before it begins.  Springer is the same exact show every single day, yet I always like it.  Though the very best is Rachel Ray.  Her and I, we date

From The Past Few Weeks:

Won the hotdog eating contest and the watermelon eating contest

Didn’t win the pretzel eating contest

Skipped another hotdog contest and a chicken wing contest

But there is another one tomorrow

And fried potato eating contest in two weeks

And another chicken wing contest shortly after that

And I am just starting an entire week of comped buffets.  Except it is only for breakfast when there are no salad options.  So it was alternating between plates of egg whites and fruit.  Only five of each, plus turkey sausage and bowls of cereal.  From now on, I’ll go right when breakfast is ending and stay for when they put out the lunch menu and enjoy 10 plates of salad

Best of all: There is a place that will pay anyone $2.77 to go to their breakfast buffet once per month

I am going to get fat

That’s not always a bad thing.  With cold weather coming it has a certain advantage

But even with cold weather I still must cut my hair short.  Looking like a hippie is never a good thing.  In all of human history there has only been one person who has been able to pull it off.  For everyone else it is absolutely not OK to look like a hippie.  Perhaps the greatest figure in all of human history