Eating Is Not A Sport
From Walter Iooss: Competition is all athletes care about, outside of money and sex (Sports Illustrated December 12)
Everyone, whether they are involved in sports or not put money and sex high up there. (Though you really should concern yourself mostly with money, then you can use that to buy anything you want). But for eating and people who actually like eating, the competition is such a minor piece
If Kobe Bryant found himself in the situation of never being allowed to compete in basketball, he would not spend hours dribbling and shooting hoops in a driveway or empty gym. If Albert Pujols was never allowed a chance at $200 million and never allowed to take a swing against live pitching, he would not spend hours every day hitting against a pitching machine or off a tee
Yet if I were never allowed into eating competition I would still be at the buffet three times a week for all those snacks. When the competitive side for all involved is such a minor issue it fails to be a sport
While we do appreciate the competition very much … while it always sucks when we’re told we’re too much of an asshole to be allowed into them … it is never a matter of competing against anyone … what is good is competing with the others. Somehow eating contests fall short of how Mike Tyson views competition, outlined in one of his better interviews
I’m the best ever. I’m the most brutal and vicious and most ruthless champion there’s ever been. There’s no one could stop me
it gets better
There’s no one that can match me. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable and I’m just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to allah
