eatingalot.com

50 Carrots, rinsed with the ends cut off: 1 250 Calories

50 cookies: 2 570 Calories
(16 Chips Ahoy, 16 Nutter Butter and 18 Oreo’s)

50 dried plums: 715 Calories
50 dried apricots: 750
50 Twizzler pieces: 410
50 peanut butter filled pretzels: 700
(all go in a ziplock bag together)

50 pieces hard candy: 680 Calories
(42 pieces with caffeine, eight mints)

so far there seems to be a theme of 50. . .

50 various granola bars, poptarts and power bars: 6 360 Calories
eight poptarts: 1520; 12 Nature Valley granola bars: 1140; 10 Quaker Chewy granola bars: 900; six Quaker imple Harvest granola bars: 900 Calories; six Quaker True Delights: 720; six Nutra-Grain bars: 720; two Power Bars: 460

50 peanut butter and cheese sandwich crackers and peanut candy bars: 2 000 Calories
48 sandwich crackers: 1520; two candy bars 480
side-note: candy seems like an easy choice for cheap Calories, but virtually any possible option is either chocolate which carries a high probability of melting into something ugly.  Or it is little more than corn syrup with added flavor and coloring.  The only two exceptions I could locate are Payday bars and Salted Nut Roll (which has a truly awesome name).  These have peanuts added to their corn syrup, so that makes them healthy.  Sort of like the whole wheat Pop-Tarts listed above

Five quarts juice and soda (ok, it’s really three quarts juice and two Liters soda.  Ok, that stuff isn’t really even juice): 1 840 Calories

Other stuff:

Can of refried beans: 700 Calories — this should keep everything moving correctly in the days following

Hormel Chili: 520 and Chef Boyardee whole grain pasta: 500 — cheapest can foods that also have the huge advantage of not requiring a can opener

Ramen: 380 — is this snack the most famous or the most infamous for being cheapest Calories possible?  Either way, it means it makes perfect sense to be included here

Pork rinds: 560 — they’re like Cheetos, but made of meat

Two jars peanut butter: 6 080

Sandwich with one-pound loaf of bread (1 120), one pound meat (720) and 12 ounces cheese (960)

Total Calories of all that: 28 815

Really feels like I should have bought even more stuff

Finally going to try it.  Make an effort to eat more in one day than ever have before.  Bought most of the groceries already.  There is some restriction, most everything must be highly durable and portable

Here is everything so far:
Four boxes granola bars
12 of the small packages of cookies, eight packages of sandwich crackers
Four boxes dried fruit
Box of cherry Twizzlers, box of Hot Tamales, some candy with caffeine, two candy bars, two power bars
31 ounce can of refried beans, chili, whole-wheat Chef Boyardee crap
box of whole wheat Pop Tarts (that makes them nutritious, right?) and six Nutra-Grain bars
peanut butter filled pretzels, one package Ramen and pork rinds (sup Chad)
one pound turkey and three-quarters pound cheese
six pounds carrots
two 18-ounce jars of peanut butter
two bottles Sunny Delight, one bottle Mtn Dew (regular, not diet)

Still need to pick up a loaf of bread for the meat and cheese (peanut butter is spoon only).  Any ideas for anything else to pick up tomorrow?

another note about this in a couple days, then report back after the weekend

It was 27 years ago today. Saturday March 24, 1984 at Shermer High School in Shermer Illinois, 60062. We accept the fact that it wasn’t truly great. But you’re crazy if you couldn’t appreciate something about the movie. You watch it how you want to watch it. In the simplest terms, it was only ten-percent as good as Sixteen Candles and one-percent as good as Fast Times. Most convenient at nine o’clock on TBS on Sunday morning

In honor of The Breakfast Club, box of Shredded Wheat, box of Alpha-Bits, topped with one pound frozen blackberries and one quart egg substitute.  Cereal and fruit in a bowl with one quart milk, eggs on the stovetop with a little ketchup.  Then top the cereal with the eggs, because if they’re both good by themselves, they’re great mixed together

“what’s your poison”
“vodka”
“when do you drink vodka”
“whenever”

Cherry flavored or with tomato juice, it’s like getting drunk on fruit and veggies
(Cherry Tomatoes have to be the best crossbreeds ever. Cherries are great, tomatoes are great, mixed together they’re great. Even better than crossing an eating contest with roller-coaster rides)

Floyd Mayweather is not going to fight Manny Pacquiao.  They’re each missing out on a $20 million paycheck.  Is avoiding each other to fight weaker opponents for far less money and a lower place in history really what makes them happiest?  Or perhaps it is because of pettiness?

At the start of the NBA season Kobe Bryant said he would beat LeBron James one-on-one.  Later in the year when the Lakers were in Miami, Bryant told James “I’m a fucking champ.”  There is a certain purity in all that.  Obviously it’s not going to happen, but I imagine it in the style of White Men Can’t Jump: call your own fouls, eloquent conversation, no crowds, no cameras, no endless timeouts in the final seconds.  Any money is whatever they can hustle and just enough to stay one step ahead of whomever is trying to collect on past debts and past sins

In five-on-five, both guys see total earning in the hundred million dollar range, Bryant has easily had the far better career.  James could surpass what Bryant has done so far, but doubtful.  At their current ages, though, James would win one-on-one

In competitive eating the money exceeds zero only on rare occasions.  Yet for some reason so many people involved have such pettiness and make such a deliberate attempt to keep it as impure as possible.  It is, but hadn’t ought to be.  I say we make it as pure as possible.  Whoever likes to eat, take a plate and sit alongside anyone else who likes to eat; stopwatch optional

Two people sitting down to two 10-pound burritos.  The first eight pounds or so were great, wasn’t as happy about finishing the final two pounds.  But it was one of those restaurant things, so it was either stuff myself completely or pay the tab.  I went ahead and finished it all in 34 minutes or so.  Stuffed so completely I passed on any ice cream or pastries

thanks to: Cecilia’s Cafe

this took place just outside the University of New Mexico.  Tonight, Los Lobos upset #3 BYU, 82-64, as 12-point underdogs.  In 2010 National Geographic noted “Because wolves can consume more than ten pounds of meat at once, they can go for more than a week without eating.”  That’s doing it right

Best thing about valentine’s day: pitchers and catchers report

Second best thing about valentine’s day: people who try to make a case that dark chocolate has health benefits.  Which a few idiots do.  Even when it’s made with 30% butter and 50% sugar

New Rule: anyone who ever says dark chocolate has health benefits should try eating at least four or five pounds of it.  If unwilling to do so, that’s a pretty clear admission that saying the stuff is healthy is total bullshit.  Or at least try the following: one stick of butter, one cup granulated sugar and ¼ cup cocoa powder (which is pretty close to the recipe Hershey’s uses for their dark chocolate).  Anyone unwilling to do so must either hate dark chocolate or hate the idea of being healthy.  I would be willing to eat that for a snack.  But there has to be a better reason than someone saying that it is healthy.  Just because someone says something stupid does not make it so

Since I say some milk chocolate can be ok, I’m actually willing to do more than just say it is so, I’m actually willing to prove it’s ok.  One gallon sugar-free and fat-free chocolate pudding, which is just one gallon milk, fake sugar and corn starch

People who think dark chocolate is ok refuse to eat it; those who think milk chocolate is better eat eight pounds of it.  In light of that, there can be absolutely no question and no debate about which one is better

Much more filling than any other breakfast in recent memory, but only a few minutes later and already starting to feel hungry again; 144g protein

For a tribute meal, this was the worst possible matchup. Patriots v Seahawks could have been Dunkin Donuts v Starbucks. Jets and Falcons could have been New York Cheesecake with five pounds of peaches. Cheesesteak and barbeque for the Eagles and Chiefs. Crabcakes and deep dish pizza if it was Ravens and Bears

For Packers and Steelers the most fitting meal is cheddar and Heinz Ketchup; 40 ounces of each to honor Pat Tillman (and because that’s the size Heinz Ketchup comes in)

The low-fat cheese slices are pretty heavy on the salt, as much sodium in the cheese as in the ketchup. A total of over 20 000mg sodium in those five pounds. Obviously five pounds is not very much, especially for a game that will last almost four hours. So to complete the meal, fluids and potassium make the most sense

A preemptive 3.5 Liters water. Just got this out of the way quickly. Drank it all in less than 60 seconds at the opening kickoff. Filled my belly pretty well, so took the entire first quarter to finish all the cheese slices and ketchup

Bananas actually aren’t the best source of potassium (potatoes have almost 20% more nutritiondata.com), but they are the most celebrated. And they allow me to make a black and yellow dish to commemorate the Steelers and a green and yellow dish for the Packers

For the second quarter:

• Three bananas with 30 ounce can of black beans (these ones cost half as much as the no salt added variety, so another 2 400 mg sodium)
• Three bananas with 32 ounces green beans

thanks to: midwest dairy farmers and high blood pressure medication

BCS National Championship game is the biggest sporting event named after a snack food. So eating some Tostitos would have been a good way to go tonight. Except Tostitos cost around $10 per pound. I went with the other brand of corn chips

The ones I bought still cost $3 per pound for nothing more than corn, salt and soybean oil. Most people think of these as potato chips, except with corn instead of potatoes. To me, they’re like corn flakes, except with added oil and salt. I’ll eat a few of them, but not six or seven pounds

Instead of using milk for this cereal I spent the pre-game and first quarter making a bean dip:
Two cans of beans, two onions, 10 ounce bag of frozen peas and another of frozen spinach, 28 ounce can of tomatoes, garlic powder. Heard of Pete C has making something very similar, where he added ground turkey for protein. I went with 20 ounces chicken livers, which cost less than half as much

Everything in a pot on the stove by opening kickoff. Simmering for the entire first quarter. Then topped with eight ounces corn chips and a cut up carrot to make it prettier

A little over 3 000 Calories, with around 200 grams protein. Not bad for over eight pounds and under $10

Took me almost half way through the second quarter to finish it all because it was still near boiling. Overall a truly great meal. Did require a fair amount of cooking and there’ still cleaning left to do. Now I have to come up with something equally good for the Super Bowl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For many Americans, Thanksgiving means sitting down to a large meal then eating only a small amount. This year I went with a Thanksgiving meal that is truly fitting for someone who likes to eat … large and nutritious.   Complete with side dishes, turkey and dessert … unlike most people I actually ate all of it

Thanksgiving menu:
Green Bean Casserole
ingredients: green beans
directions: cook (or eat raw)
Cranberry Sauce
ingredients: cranberries
directions: cook according to the package (boil with water) replace sugar with splenda
Stuffing
ingredients: remove the cornbread and it’s just carrots, celery, onions, salt, pepper and garlic
Brussel Sprouts
Didn’t know this was a traditional Thanksgiving dish, but saw them on more than one cooking show this past week. Add heat and serve

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At opening kickoff of the first NFL game put on a pot of coffee and microwaved the green beans, stuffing and brussel sprouts. Cranberry sauce went on the stove. Finished everything by the start of the second quarter. At $1.50 for a 12 ounce bag, Cranberries cost more than twice as much as the other ingredients, still $6.45 for all of the first courses

Main Course:
At half-time of the football game it was time for turkey. Lots of whole frozen turkeys can be found for around 50-cents per pound. That’s a great deal, but the tradeoff is high cost of cooking and cleaning. Decided instead for something more expensive, $5.38 for two pounds with cooking and cleaning costs near zero. Could possibly find some turkey option for slightly cheaper, but these Turkey Meatballs have 144 grams of protein so that’s nice. Also five-ounces of turkey so I can even have a turkey sandwich the day after Thanksgiving

Dessert:
Once the third quarter started it was time to bake. One 29-ounce can of pumpkin, baked into a Pumpkin Pie according to the package, except no crust and splenda instead of sugar. Just pumpkin, milk, eggs and splenda. In took until the end of the game for it to cook and cool and be ready to eat. During that time, had a Sweet Potato and a Yam and one 20-ounce can of pre-made sugar free Apple Pie filling which is just apples, corn starch and splenda. Total cost for ingredients pictured was $5.20

A large and nutritious Thanksgiving meal for not too much money. Next year skip the pumpkin pie, since that was the only major cooking requirement.

A birthday cake would have been the most fitting. Except they can be like 2 000 Calories per pound, which means a full meal would be well over 10 000 Calories with the primary nutrition being corn syrup and hydrogenated oil

Hotdogs are starting to develop a tradition on ESPN. While I have no problem eating ground up pig fat stuffed into casings and loaded with carcinogens, the people who sell those products don’t want me to eat them, so for today I won’t buy them

Instead, made today’s meal distinctly American

Making a Red, White and Blue menu has one major obstacle. Other than blueberries and blue food coloring, there are really no blue foods. Still put together a moderately sized and fairly nutritious meal for America’s Birthday
- Two quarts yogurt, strawberries, blueberries
- Quart of Red Powerade, Blue Powerade and White Milk
- Egg whites, blue cornchips and ketchup. The cornchips are labeled “All Natural,” so even if you can’t find it anywhere, blue corn must exist somewhere in nature
- Red grapes, blueberries and lowfat whip cream. Normally would never touch the whip cream, over $2 for seven ounces and no real nutrition, but we can make one exception for a birthday party. At least it’s only 200 Calories for the entire can
- American Pizza: lowfat string cheese, tomato sauce and blueberries?!?!?! on whole wheat thin crust (a new personal favorite, next year it will come out even better)
- Cauliflower, beets … and blue nailpolish. Couldn’t think of anything else … some people eat their nails and they are mostly protein

Preparation, cleaning, photography and eating everything (an estimated 16 pounds) took a total of two hours, which is as long as any birthday party should ever last

thanks to: America

Because of the high fat, high salt, high starch burger and fries last week I decided this would be a good week to take it easy on the buffet. Lean meat and lettuce isn’t a problem. Still, the baked chicken could have added fat, the tilapia might be floating in butter. Might end up going through the Mexican station and adding a lot of beans, corn and rice. The cake or onion rings will catch my eye after the enjoyment from the fruits and veggies have been exhausted. It will all have to wait one more week. . .

Still want a big meal, though. So pay a little more for food at the grocery store (but less in gas money) and know exactly what I’ll be eating — fruit veggies, oatmeal, protein, and almost nothing else. Would like to eat meals like this everyday, but only engage in either the buffet or large meals like this only an average of three times per week. The cost of the food and the time it costs cooking, cleaning and eating means the tradeoff of eating something smaller is the better deal the other four days

So for a medium priced large meal with as much nutrition as I can fit and that won’t make me fat, this is the menu:
- Frozen veggies: two pounds mix of carrots, corn, green beans and peas; one pound peas and carrots mix; one pound green beans; 0.75 pounds celery, onion and green peppers
- twenty ounces frozen strawberries
- bananas, apple, kiwi, baked potato
- one cup cooked oatmeal, two cans tuna on flat bread and cottage cheese for protein
- Sugar free Jell-O
- Two Liters ice water

potato, corn, bread and cereal count as starch. Often skip those, but they’re so cheap, have some good nutrition and thought they might add to the visual. Oatmeal is 500g at the dollar store, when cooked that works out to over six pounds. For $1. Anyone who eats less than six pounds of food per day shouldn’t have much trouble cutting their food budget to around $1 per day

Had to take a break for pictures, microwave the oats and open cans of tuna, so took an entire 45 minutes to finish it all, but only half the water (I like to eat, not drink). Bathroom scale said it was 13 pounds (less than the burger and fries). Felt full at the time, but 20 minutes later would have liked to eat more, just didn’t have the desire to cook or clean. Had a 90g energy bar, made a pot of coffee and enjoyed the rest of the day

thanks to: “Low fat” cottage cheese. It has more fat than a McDonald’s Hamburger